okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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