So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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