At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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