I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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