Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize