why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We are all done wearing pants today
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
