Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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