it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
