I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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