That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
