After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
