The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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