Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
