dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize