I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
