please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
