More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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