i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
