im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
