on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
