Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
