Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
