I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize