Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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