I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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