Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
