Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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