i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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