Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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