Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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