Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
