So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize