So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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