: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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