He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
