mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
