Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
