i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can I color on your dick again?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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