we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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