I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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