Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
