do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
