Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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