dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were trust falling into bushes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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