Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Your cock deserves a montage
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
