I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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