tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
