so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize