The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize