quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
