I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize