Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize