i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
