what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
