It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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