I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
