He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize