Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I need a beard to bite.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
