I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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