whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize