Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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