Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
