Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she peed on how many people?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
