nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize