i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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