how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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